Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Happy 3rd Bday Bugga


Dear Sweet Elijah,
I know it may seem cliche but it is truly amazing to me that you are 3 years old today! I remember the day you were born with such intensity. The delivery was filled with so much anxiety, love and worry. I remember being in the room with your Daddy, Auntie Shell and our Pastors, all praying that God's glory would be upon that day and that you were going to be ok. I don't even know how I can put into words the chaos of having you taken from us and put in a separate hospital and not being able to see your beautiful face until 8 hrs after you were born. When the moment came that I was able to go to NICU to see you, smell you, and hold you for the first time, it produced such a gush of raw emotion. You were stunning Elijah and from that moment on our lives would forever be changed and I would forever admire you.

The only word I could use to describe the first few months of your life would be “whirlwind.” Your stay in the NICU, bringing you home for the first time only to have to bring you right back, feeding tubes, feeding machines, several surgeries, hours of countless therapy and countless doctors and doctors appts, to receiving the news that you were much more sick than we originally thought. All of that seem to me to be a lifetime ago. Yet through it all here you stand before us today this amazing little 3 year old! I remember the sickly little baby boy who would look at you with these beautiful brown eyes and smile, no matter how much he was hurting or afraid. Now when I look at you and you, I still see a little guy, but one whose heart and spirit make him such a big boy!

When I look at all of the morass of challenges that you have had to face in your short little life, I cry. Not just out of sadness because a Mommy never wants her child to hurt, but because I am just so very proud of you Bugga. You have accomplished so much in these 3 years. You have beat the odds and succeeded in feats that Dr.'s told us you may never do. Your Daddy and I remember Dr.'s saying, “He may never eat on his own without his tube.” Now I cant shovel food into your mouth fast enough. “He will probably really struggle with walking, and/or never walk without his walker.” Now you are clumsily strolling around like you own the place, pushing your big brother around when he doesnt get out of your way! “We may never know what is “wrong” with him.” Now after years of testing we have answers. “He will probably never integrate into a “normal” school.” WOW, we are still in awe of how you have flourished at your pre-school, making new friends and winning over the hears of your amazing teachers. I would have to say that the best part of all your accomplishments, is the way you face everyday with this adorable smile and spirit that touches the hearts of anyone who has ever had the privilege of knowing you.
Elijah, in the short 3 years that I have had the privilege of calling you my son, you have touched my heart in ways that I could have never imagined. You have taught me what being a parent means and the true value placed on unconditional love. I know without a doubt that with all you have overcome and will still have to face, that God molded your perfect little body from the inside out with his own hands and He loves you with an everlasting love. He hand picked you to be our son and be apart of our lives and family, and I consider it an honor to be your Mommy. You are a gift from God and know that with every challenge and celebration that may come your way that your Daddy, brothers and I will be right there to support you. Never let anyone tell you that you cant or wont because you can. You can accomplish all of your dreams and face the curve balls of life because you have the support and love of us as your family and your Heavenly Father.

We love you Bugga and we celebrate this 3 year milestone with such joy and look forward to many more years of successes and big smiles!

Love,
Mommy, Daddy, Gavin & Oliver