My poor sweet Oliver. Just as we were celebrating your glorious birth my worst nightmare came true and you were taken to the NICU. My whole world shook. It seemed like a dejavu from Elijah. Your father and I prayed over you my entire pregnancy that the Lord would provide us with a healthy baby and that we wouldn't have to have another one of our children sick and in the NICU, and when they came by to have me say goodbye to you so they could take you away, I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest. You were laying there trying so very hard to breathe on your own and I could see how badly you were struggling.
Once in the NICU they did xrays and saw that because you were struggling to breathe so hard that you had developed a whole in your lung. At that point, the only things doctors could do to give your little body the rest it needed was to intibate you. When I came to visit you I wasn't able to hold you and after the first day, I wasn't able to touch you because you were in a "no stimulation" mode. All I wanted was to wrap my arms around you and tell you how much we loved you and needed for you to get better.
As the days went on you were not improving and at one point, got worse so they had to do a blood transfusion to help your little body fight. Day and night Mommy came to the NICU to visit you and talk to your doctors, and before I knew it, it was time for me to go home, but I was doing so without you. Your daddy and I never thought we would have to leave a second baby behind and go home empty handed once again.
I don't think a mother/parent could fully grasp the pain of having your baby stay behind as you take the next step of going home. A time where you envision this beautiful moment and homecoming and instead it is replaced with sadness and tears. I cried out to God on so many occasions as to why this was happening again, and again He sweetly assured me that He loved you Oliver so much more than your Daddy and I ever could and you were in His care. We prayed fervently that the Lord would heal your little body so that we could have you home with us.
From that point on, the circus began. Thanks so my absolutely amazing friends, they helped to devise a schedule where I could have sitters come to the house in shifts as well as drivers come and take me to and from the NICU everyday and your daddy came during every available lunch break that he had. We did this, hoping that with every visit you would improve and thank God you did. After about a week, the hole in your lung closed on its own and little by little you begain to improve. Each time I came to see you, your oxygen levels were up, you were improving on your feeds and before we knew it, one by one the machines, cords, wires, multiple IV lines were removed and you were breathing and eating all on your own. All that was left was left was my beautiful baby boy's face that I had not seen for so long, and we were finally able to hold you. Praise God!
On the day we brought you home, your Daddy, brothers and I all went to the NICU to get you. When we arrived all your nurses and doctors were there awaiting our arrival to finally take you home. They loved on you and were so excited to see you healthy and ready to go home where you belonged. It was a sweet moment for sure and from that moment on it has been a ride little guy. You have been a firecracker from the moment you were born, probably because you have two older brothers ahead of you =) But now I look at you and you are chunking up before my eyes and smiling. We are looking forward to watching you grow baby boy.
We could not have gotten through those tough times without our Lord and our friends. Thank you for the sleepless nights of staying with me, taking me to the NICU at all hours. Thank you for taking care of and handling things that Mike and I were not capable of doing at that time. You stepped up ways that still to this day is so humbling. You all provided us with prayer, meals, words of encouragement, car rides to and from hospital, love, care for our children, tears and support. It is as though God banded together this amazing group of people because he knew we were going to need you, what a blessing.We are forever grateful to all of you who selflessly cared and loved on our family through that time. We will forever remember your support and we love you all so very much!
Brothers
The Bullard Boys
